When I birthed this blog almost five years ago, I didn’t really have any plans or goals. I just wanted to talk about clothes with women who were like me. I was thrilled when brands began to reach out, re-posted and followed me on Instagram and I dreamed of the day that they would want to partner with me, collaborate on posts and pay me to talk about fashion.
Slowly, after years of chipping away, I had achieved the perfect balance of day job and blog job and I had the wardrobe to prove it.
Just when I began to hit my blogger stride online sexual harassment struck and my blog began to stagnate for two main reasons:
- Being harassed online by an individual and his friends and family took the shine off blogging. And I couldn’t sit down and just write about the fit of clothes, where I was shopping during (or after) the experience. It seemed very empty and pointless.
2. Brands slipped quietly into the night, and opportunities faded away. The blogging landscape has shifted significantly in the last two years so I graciously assume that they found cheaper (or free) bloggers to work with. But I am also aware that my points of view make me contentious, controversial and just not as easy to work with as someone else. I have blogger baggage now.
Recently a brand reached out to work together – they sent me a style guide and asked me to share it with you all. I read the style guide and determined immediately that this collaboration was not for me. The guide was antiquated and contained advice focused entirely on making a woman’s body appear smaller, to take up less space, be less offensive I presume.
It’s been a while since I have read content aimed at fat women with this point of view.
Which when I reflect makes me pretty lucky.
I have created a space in which no one would ever dare give me advice on how to make myself smaller.
It’s sometimes good to be reminded of that fact. And to be reminded that this space I have created, cultivated with other like-minded women, is a space I want to protect for my readers. I will never preach to you about body positivity, self-acceptance and inclusivity while in the same breath tell you how to make your body more palatable. I promise.
I let the brand know that I prefer to let women wear what they want because it makes them feel good and my approach is to help women to achieve wardrobe goals rather than goals relating to their bodies.
Because sometimes it is just better to say no.